slow down jo

Anybody ever tell you that you move too fast?

Anybody ever tell you how to make a good thing last?

'Cause it ain't like that. 

-Monsters of Folk

Now that I've established a few priorities with you guys (my blog audience...blodience?), we can really get down to it. Accountability. But...

No buts.

We're doin this.

Together.

I mean, you're here. So we're doin this.

Ahhh, shit.

Don't freak out.

We can go slow.

I practice slowing down time.

Mainly by riding my bike. It's pretty gray and rainy today and I had to come to the library to get some things done online. I canceled my AT&T home wifi service slightly earlier than my departure date with purpose. I often waste less time on the internet if I have a limited amount of time to get things accomplished, and I sleep better not having tv to watch with the Roku or interactions with screens before bedtime. 

There can also be a loneliness to quietude, but it's not a loneliness I fear.
It's a din that drowns out the song I'm trying to hum. The story I'm trying to tell.

Anyway, I biked here even though it was far more appealing to drive.
Especially since I'm getting over a nasty cold and I went out drinking with my cohorts last night as we finished up some data entry/organization for our digital showcase we're launching tomorrow. But I forced myself to gather the poncho and appropriate gear, and it felt so good. It always does. And daily it makes me mourn the society we could cultivate but don't.

I've been somewhat successful at creating some new habits, and I have to say starting the day with writing and meditating and [more often than not] making my bed has been lovely and helpful, but my relationship with time is bigger and more complex than a few good days. Or even a few bad ones for that matter. I say somewhat successful because there was travel and a wedding and cohabitation with a large group of people last weekend, and I have not yet mastered taking these habits with me on the go.

They're my home habits. But I'm looking to change that.

I want you to hold me accountable, but who are you?

And why in the hell would that be your job?

I gotta do this myself.
And that can be overwhelming. 

Having my own back was sort of the theme of my thesis project, and a "lifestyle challenge" I'm taking on for the next 30 days. I am abstaining from sugar and adding an evening mediation to my daily habits. 

I have not successfully avoided plastic altogether as I'd hoped, and I admittedly got a little depressed about the futility of my paltry attempt at avoiding it when yesterday, I not only forgot to say "no straw" at the restaurant, someone at my table requested a straw. If I weren't sick, I would've insisted he take mine, but I am so...and earlier in the day I used plasticware when it was offered because I was unprepared and happy to accept free food and didn't want to be that person eating with my hands. And I witnessed someone unnecessarily use extra plasticware. 

It seemed a glaring reminder that not only am I not living the way I feel it is important to live (in this case using less plastic), I am having little to no affect on the people with whom I'm closest on their decisions around this topic.

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. 

I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be.

This is the interrelated structure of reality.

-Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The "lifestyle challenge," is part of a network marketing brand, and I hate that I have such strong reticence in joining these campaigns, but I do. They inspire folks to spread healthy habits, require the planting and regard for many plants, and aspire to create wealth among networks through sharing eco-friendly products.

And yet, I can't dive in. Join the club. Get others to join the club.

Club.

This was one of our favorite games to play as kids. Giving each other roles ("You're treasurer." "But I wanna be President, I'm always treasurer!"), pretending to have influence or control. I watch modern politics and realize it's the same with these grown-ass men in their red ties and their blue suits. Pretense. 

Of control and/or influence.
We all know commerce is king.

And so I guess the hard thing to swallow about these network marketing companies is just that. I don't need more things to buy. I need less. It doesn't matter that their products are often the ones I wouldn't mind having, that they may be healthy or enhance my life...they still seem beyond my most basic needs and therefor a bit of a...well, a sell. 

And I'm in the process of distilling exactly what it is I have to sell here.

So you'll buy it.

(Not the blodience you, the figurative you.)

I think after three years of growth, I'm ready to sell myself as an actress. So I'm trying not to get distracted by the side-hustle of "easy money" networking, but if I were, you could click here to buy some Norwex or Doterra or Rodan and Fields products.

I happen to think these companies are doing great things for women in business, and the history of this type of commerce is rife with badass women like Madam C.J. Walker, so I am far from knocking them. I recently had a heart-to-heart with my sister about why these companies seem so annoying at times, and I think it has to do with blurred lines between personal connection and professional ambition, but if you can mix it up just right in a network marketing cocktail that tastes good to you, I say DO IT! And I might be in your downline once I have 2 pennies to rub together, but until then, I'm gonna work at making my living at what I've invested the most in...and for now it's this acting schtick.

And writing. My reach? My aim? My message? Buy less, not more. And don't forget to say "no straw, please."